I am so excited and happy… and yet, feel suddenly very, very old. I just found out that Take No Prisoners, a Flint-based public access show hosted by Ben Hamper (author of Rivethead) that aired in the 1980s and early 1990s, has posted all of their video footage and audio recordings to the internets. All the cassettes I have lost or accidently destroyed over the years are now available FOR FREE!

I have been downloading like crazy and first up is Feast of Saints, my all time favorite. They were a goth band, with hints of The Smiths, and when I was a wee lad of 15 I was absolutely in love (lust) with the singer, Ashen Keilyn. Granted, devotion to this band put me in ‘fag’ territory (’fag’, as used here, is a Mid-Western term for any young male under six feet tall who doesn’t enjoy sports and other alpha male activities), but I was okay with that and made up for it by supplementing my music diet with plenty of thrash and metal. You can apparently compensate for a half-hour of ‘faginess’ with five minutes of Slayer, did you know that? In the eyes of your peers you magically become straight again. (update: someone has pointed out that this is similar to a routine by comedian Brian Posehn, which you think I would be familiar with since I like some of his standup, but alas, it is a huge, stupid coincidence since we are both insecure metalheads).

Ashen is apparently still making music under the name AK Healy and had her music featured on The Sopranos and actually appeared in an episode. Of course, her music now is a pretty far cry from the vampire-laden moot rock of yore, but come on it’s been 18 years and everyone mellows. I now pet kitties and smell flowers and can go three days without touching myself. Seriously, I’ve done it.

For any former Flint punks who stumble upon this, you probably won’t remember me as I was extremely unmemorable. I was painfully shy (still am) and quite timid. Plus, I was usually sneaking into Flint from my hometown of Durand and didn’t want to draw much attention to myself. But I was there 2-3 times a month, attending shows at the Capitol Theater, drinking Night Train from a 7-11 Big Gulp cup, smoking weed from a crushed Coke can with Justin Quigley, being verbally humiliated by Jason Willey (and yet so craving his approval and friendship), practically breaking my back skating the wreckage that was the abandoned AutoWorld, and unable to sleep with any of the cool girls there because my friend Leah told me everybody had VD.

I am very nostalgic for those days and thankfully, because of the internet, I can now kinda-sorta relive that era. Thank you internet. Thank you.